Shivani Gupta

Fragmentation is inevitable for us all right now, and this poetry presentation would acknowledge and talk through navigation of that - how to carry fragmented selves into a more held, grounded future? My poetry collection is part acknowledgement, part ode to the reluctant immigrant. Through the lens of my relationship with my now-far-away family, grief, the world ending, unexpected friendships and a lot of food, I navigate the privilege and dismissal I feel towards immigrating to the United States. My paperwork says I am an alien resident, and I feel welcome here. When I'm away from India, I hold it closer than ever before. My poems explore this in-between and the conclusion steers me towards the acceptance of inconsistent duality, instead of a forced resolution of either one identity. At this current moment, I am 8054 miles from home, from the family & the city I grew up believing I would never leave. This life in America is my choice, and still I feel ungrateful, resentful sometimes for all that I cannot bring with me. The subject matter of my writing is all I have left behind, all I long for in the everyday, all I walk towards when someone says home. The issues and ideas are what's present - everyday in America I learn something. About myself, about transactional culture, about people who surprise you in how they notice you, about birds, about cleaner air, about microplastics, about identity. I write to the future versions of myself (and us all) to help make sense of my / our choices in this time. There is no absolution, and yet, we're all looking for a grounded path to walk on.